a single variable separates those who feel secure and loving who experience joy and amazing happiness… And those who are forever insecure, lashing out at others or spiraling into depression. That one variable is feeling worthy. Worthy of being loved, worthy of connection.
Ms Brown took data– thousands of journal pages, emails, hundreds of long interviews, and analyzed them– and she found that this blessed group may it have had the same successes, but what they did have were 5 common threads running through their lives– Whole-heartedness, Courage, Compassion, Connection… Vulnerability.
What is vulnerability? “the willingness to say I love you first” “waiting for the doctor to call” “getting fired, firing others” “throwing yourself into something with no guarantees” sitting alone at a table (in a socially-driven-school) like I’m doing now, typing this. (really wanted to get this out before meeting my class/OG) <– see what I did there, we all hate feeling vulnerable, we justify our deeds and actions and in this case it’s alright but in other cases…
How do we deal with vulnerability?
…We numb it. Thing is, you can’t selectively numb feelings– You can’t say “these feelings suck I’m not gonna feel them I’m gonna dance around and eat a banana.” We can’t numb one end of the spectrum without compromising on the other end. When we numb, we numb joy and passion and gratitude and wonderment too– and when we do that we feel vulnerable and it’s a scary vicious cycle.
…We make uncertain things certain. Religion for instance.
…We force perfection in an imperfect -but beautiful – world. of our lives, but more dangerously, we demand it from the children of the world.
TED talk on the ‘power of vulnerability’ :) ^mix of my thoughts but mostly inspired and pieced together from here :)