the optimism bias rug

Yesterday that rug was pulled from under my feet.

I’m not sure why– 1.5 hours of mugging Malay, maybe. The oh shizzle panic attack  and the constant reminder that anxiety, like bitterness, like its better-known cousin guilt, is a paralytic. It was scary. I wasn’t pessimistic about the future, or very optimistic either… I was just neutral. “Alright, that’s how it’s gonna be, doesn’t matterrrrr?”

I guess I never really lived my life without that safety rug before, tinting my world a magnificent shade of rose. Is this how people usually live?

Hahaha but today it’s back! Always trust sleep ;D I’ve been sleeping so much over the past few days gosh hahaha when my exams end i really need to set up a schedule! so that i can accomplish the many things i set out for myself to do– that list seems almost alive, calling to me with some sort of magnetic charm, and glowing with all the radiance of huge potential.

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